Quest for the WoWa
by Chiharu Kumori
Summary: CRACKFIC. One day, Xemnas watched Axel dance to his favorite song WoWa by Namie Amuro. Being jealous of Axel, he challenged him to become the WoWa of Castle Oblivion.
1. The Quest's Creation

A/N: Okay… this is what happens when you're up all night listening to Namie Amuro -nods- Ah, but what can you do? Why, write fanfiction, of course! MWAHA! So yes. Inspired by Namie Amuro - WoWa and the awesomness that is KH and KHII! YAY!

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own KH or KHII. And even if I did, this would not be in either game, hahaha. Every song lyric in this fanfiction belongs to the songs they are in, and the people they are by, and the people that wrote them. Not me. All I own is my messed up imagination and screwed up sense of humor, haha. May the force be with ye, my kindred souls of yore! …Ignore that.**

_**WARNING: YES. THIS FANFICTION HAS A WARNING LABEL ON IT. IN CAPS AND EVERY DAMNED TEXT MODIFICATION TOOL POSSIBLE JUST TO ANNOY YOU. YAY! BUT OKAY, NOT REALLY. WARNING LABELS MAKE LIFE BETTER. BECAUSE WARNING LABELS ARE FUN! YAY FOR WARNING LABELS! ANYWAYS, YES. THIS FANFICTION IS STRANGE BEYOND ALL REASON AND WAS WRITTEN BY A HUNGRY, TEMPERAMENTAL, WOWA ADDICTED, SLEEP-DEPRIVED FEMALE. SO, THEREFORE, THERE WILL BE CURSING, SPOILERS, OUT-OF-CHARACTERNESS, AND LOTS OF KARAOKE. AND IT IS POORLY WRITTEN. THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT! ER. GOOD MORNING. WHATEVER!**_

Also, please remember NOT TO TAKE ANY OF THIS SERIOUSLY. It's meant to make people laugh, so don't flame just because it's random and doesn't make sense. I'm well aware of that, so you don't need tell me xD If you don't have a sense of humor, then I'd advise that you not read. However, if you have a sense of humor, then please enjoy -bows-

_**Quest for the WoWa**_

A KH/KHII Crackfic

Chapter One: The Quest's Creation

Axel dwelt within his pure white room, blasting Jpop on his pretty, silver stereo. No one knew of his obsession with Japanese Pop music, especially the kind that made no sense whatsoever but was incredibly catchy and addictive for the sheer reason that it made no sense whatsoever but was incredibly catchy and addictive and brings on minor cases of déjà vu. YAY FOR DÉJÀ VU!

Sorry. Anyways, the song 'WoWa' by Namie Amuro then came on. This was Axel's favorite song, it was. But, he must hide this truth from the world, for he would be stoned to death by… I don't know! Ahem… anywho, moving on.

"WO WO WA WA WO WO WA WA OSHIETE WHERE'S DA WOWA, TE AGETE WHO'S DA WOWA?" He sang with such spirit and emotion, raising his hands and doing a little dance.

Little did Axel know, though, that a certain silver-haired-know-it-all-girly-man-thinks-he's-prettier-than-Axel was standing outside his door, watching through the keyhole that he never got Sora to seal. Dammit.

This certain silver-haired-know-it-all-girly-man-thinks-he's-prettier-than-Axel was the one and only… XEMNAS! LYKEZOMG. Dun dun DUN. Yeah, okay, we get it. Xemnas was jealous of Axel, because Axel got all the awesome pyro-tastic fangirls that set random things on fire and would prove to be an asset to his army that no one's supposed to know about for his plan to take over the world that no one is supposed to know about. Yeah.

Xemnas was a jealous, jealous woman. Man. Thing. Yeah. Whatever. As he watched Axel dance and sing so _beautifully_ to this sweet melody of… whatever the hell it is, he grew angrier by the second.

"I WANNA HEAR YOU SAY WOWA!" Axel shouted in a pubescently-girly-voice! But, with such feeling and emotion… Yeah.

Xemnas was a jealous silver-haired-know-it-all-girly-man-thinks-he's-prettier-than-Axel. But then! The idea hit him!

"TE AGETE WHO'S DA WOWA?" Axel sang poorly, raising his hands in the air, trying to be all gangsta… and failing. Miserably.

That was it! _WHO'S DA WOWA!_ If it's not Xemnas, then the WoWa does not exist!

Xemnas then burst open the door of Axel's room, and dramatically pointed his finger in Axel's direction for a long period of time so long in fact that a year went by and no one noticed because they were too busy staring at the dirt under his index fingernail.

Axel then let out a girly scream--a REALLY girly scream. He covered himself as if he weren't decent and yelled at Xemnas, "How dare you barge into my room unannounced!"

This did not stop Xemnas from his idea, however, as he was serious about it! VERY serious. Because Xemnas is _serious. _ Insincere? No. Humorous? Pfft, he's not a bone, you moron! He's XEMNAS (aka MANSEX). **_The_** XEMNAS (aka MANSEX). Therefore… yeah.

"AXEL… WHATEVER-THE-HELL-YOUR-LAST-NAME-IS! I hereby challenge you to the Quest for the WoWa!" Xemnas lowered his finger and took a deep breath. Only to look down and find that in all the time he'd pointed his finger at Axel, he'd broken a nail.

After a few hours of Xemnas' whimpering and crying and whining and mourning the loss of his beloved fingernail, he got back to the point. With an arm sling and his finger wrapped in tons of gauze.

Axel hadn't an idea what he was talking about. Or that he'd been so jealous of someone so unbelievably stupid. And girly. He wore _makeup_. MAKEUP. Axel knew this first hand, as he'd spied on Xemnas a few times, sitting at his pink vanity and applying every bit of makeup he owned that no one was supposed to know about. Xemnas had many secrets. They were all scary and just plain weird. And some got him banned from a few states in the U.S. But, no one's supposed to know about that.

"Um. Don't take this the wrong way, Xemnas but… WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!" Axel shouted in total exasperation. And on top of that, Xemnas' mascara was running! This annoyed Axel very much.

Xemnas then explained in the simplest of terms. "YOU. ME. CHALLENGE. WOWA." It was still too complicated for Axel's understanding.

Xemnas sighed deeply. "Like, okay, listen," Xemnas rested his hand on his hip, "The WoWa of this castle that is Castle Oblivion will run the castle and reign over… whatever, and uh… Do whatever he wants." Xemnas explained rather… vaguely… since the writer of all of his lines is half asleep.

Axel understood, however, since his lines are written by the same writer. "Oh, I see… So, you're challenging me to see who can be the WoWa of Castle Oblivion?" Axel asked, his hands on his hips.

Xemnas nodded. "Like, awesome, totally, you, like, get it now, okay!" Xemnas said in annoyingly reminiscent Valley Girl type way. Yeah.

So, anyways, the day passed as they prepared for… wait for it… THE QUEST FOR THE WOWA!


	2. The First Task

A/N: No, I am not on crack. Thank you.

**DISCLAIMER: If I owned KH and KHII, then… then it'd be redeemably messed up. Wait, wtf? I typed REEEEALLY. But Word changed it to redeemably… HAHA that's funny xDD Yeah. Oh, we know I don't own KH and KHII so let's move on!**

_**Quest for the WoWa**_

A KH/KHII Crackfic

Chapter Two: The First Task

Axel and Xemnas stayed up all night preparing for the Quest. Well, technically it was a challenge, but quest sounds so much better even if that's not technically what it is. Anyways, a little bit of what happened that night…

Xemnas was in charge of writing down the plans and stages and challenges and whatnot. Axel's job was to do the thinking part, which could potentially make his brain explode if pushed too far. But, given the situation, Xemnas had not the ability to think beyond his own understanding and this task paralleled that. Wait, what?

"Axel." Xemnas said blankly, as if he'd just screwed something up. Or was about to ask a stupid question. Given the situation… it was probably both.

"How do you spell WoWa?" Yeah… it was the second choice.

Axel let out a deep, exasperated sigh. "W-O-W-A. Got it _memorized_?"

This caused an argument, which lasted for 40 days and 40 nights--wait, no, that was the flood in Noah's Ark. Not this. Yeah, that's right, the argument lasted 40 MINUTES. Okay, yeah, moving on.

Anyways… They fell asleep, having sweet dreams of becoming the WoWa of Castle Oblivion! The fangirlage… the control… the free CHEESE. OH YES.

That morning, they woke up, refreshed and ready--No, wait.

"Xemnas! What's taking you so long!" Axel shouted as he banged on Xemnas' chamber door.

"Uh… JUST A MOMEN--OW!" he shouted as he stabbed himself in the eye with his silver eyeliner. Oh well, nothing a glass eye couldn't fix.

A few hours later, they descended down the stairs to… THE ARENA OF THE WOWA! DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNYeah.

**TASK NUMBER ONE: MUSCLE FLEXES.**

Yes, the first task of the Quest for the WoWa was, indeed, **muscle flexing.** This was to win the support of the fangirls--afterall, you can't exactly become the WoWa without FANGIRLS to support, feed, massage, etc. you, now can you? I should think not!

"YOU GOIN' DOWN XEMNAS!" Axel began the trash talk at the very moment the task was announced. He then pounded his fist into his chest of steel, as if to provoke the "manly" Xemnas.

It worked. Very well, in fact. "Oh, yeah! Well…! YOU'RE A BIG MEANIE WITH SPIKY RED HAIR THAT ISN'T EVEN PRETTY AND FLOWY LIKE MINE! So… SO NYEH!" Too bad Xemnas was an idiot.

Anyways, in order to establish who would go first, they flipped a coin. Axel chose heads, Xemnas chose butts--or, rather, tails as we know it. It landed on tails but, since Xemnas was an idiot and managed to trip on a tiny piece of DRYER LINT, he had to take a timeout. So, Axel went first.

Axel threw off his cloak in such a seductively MORONIC way, and began to flex his non-existent muscles. He did a few flame tricks, which got the attention of the fangirls that weren't already foaming at the mouth by his bare-chested-ness.

He scored an 8 on the manly scale. Out of 10. Simply because fangirls freak out over half naked bishies like that. But, for good reason.

It was now Xemnas' turn. He managed to recover quickly from his… ahem, 'sudden encounter with fate,' and it was now his turn to flex the Xemnas muscles of steel. …Or lack thereof.

Xemnas stepped up onto the arena-stage-thing. The fangirls swooned at his "manliness" as he began to flex his muscles.

They cheered, they fainted, they pissed themselves with laughter. "I'M TOO SEXY FOR MY SHIRT, TOO SEXY FOR MY SHIRT, SO SEXY IT HURTS." He sang with such seriousness. Yeah… I DID mention that Xemnas was _serious_, right?

He scored a 10 out of 10 on the manly scale, for the sheer fact that he won over the attention of every fangirl. Either by laughing or swooning.

So, Xemnas won the first task. He gloated, he teased, he flexed his manly muscles of GOLD. However, it was not over yet. Four more tasks still remained in order to become… TEH WOWA OF CASTLE OBLIVION!


	3. The Second Task

A/N: I'm wide awake now, and I seriously have no idea where this fanfiction came from xD I guess sleep-deprivation can do a lot to a person, haha. Anyways, yes. Thank you for the reviews! I'm glad it got some laughs out of people! For that is the whole point xD Oh, and I have no idea what a WoWa is. I just listened to that song way too many times than is healthy for someone who was up for 24 hours xD But, I guess in this fanfiction, a WoWa is, like, the number one bishie or whatever xD So yes. Hope that helps xD

**DISCLAIMER: KH and KHII would be some really screwed up stuff if I owned them xD And not even I am messed up enough to write a song like WoWa. That belongs to Namie and the weird dude that wrote it xD**

_**Quest for the WoWa**_

A KH/KHII Crackfic

Chapter Three: The Second Task

That night, Xemnas slept soundly in his freshly-made up bed with silky silver sheets, a Pooh bear plushie, and a sleep mask that bore the words 'Teh Sex' on it in rhinestones. And I will make no comment on that at this time.

Axel didn't get any sleep in his messy bed with white cotton sheets and no plushie or sleep mask. He was kept awake by the sounds Xemnas' room emitted, like a light that illuminated a dark void and blinded all who floated there. Or whatever.

Xemnas talked in his sleep. Many nights, Axel has had horrifying nightmares that were caused by Xemnas and his… whatever-the-hell-you-can-call-it.

"Oh, Xaldin… you're so… BEAUTIFUL." TEH GASP! What was the name of which he had spoken! Was it _XALDIN_! Hmm… curious… Perhaps he and Xaldin are--

LYKEOMGTHUD!

GASP what was that! A thud? OH TEH NOES! Ahem. Apparently, Xemnas had fallen out of his bed and onto his shiny white floor. His Pooh bear plushie flew across the room and his sleep mask made its way around his neck. His sheets defied him by being ever so silky and shiny. They were probably jealous of Xemnas' satin pajamas.

"OWIIIIIIIIIIIE MY NOSEY HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTS!" He whined, rubbing his nose while crying like a baby. He was somewhat pathetic--okay, no, he WAS pathetic. To, like, the 9849834th degree.

Xemnas carried on for two hours, whining and crying and whimpering as usual. He pondered getting a nose job because of this. Afterall, Xemnas' nose was flattened by teh ebil floor of DOOM.

A few hours past and it was morning, and neither of them had gotten any sleep. They had to wake up at the crack of dawn--or in this case, the crack of Xemnas. Secret-he didn't wear underwear, but he DID wear low-rise jeans under his black cloak of manliness. 'Twas never a refreshing sight when he bent over.

As usual, everything was held up due to Xemnas and his NEED for makeup. He pretended that he didn't wear it, but everyone knew. One time, a random fangirl asked him what color of lipstick he wore, and he still denied wearing makeup. Even though it was obvious, as there was lipstick on his glass of milk. Fire engine red.

Axel had an obsession with his hair, and would pace down the halls, worrying that his hair wouldn't stay oh-so-spiky. Even though he used the stickiest hair gel in existence--LIKEOMG is your hair _FLAT_? Do normal hair gels fail to WORK for _you_? Then you should try… **_SEYMOUR GUADO'S HAIR GEL OF DOOM_**! …OR **_DIE_**!

…Yeah. ANYWAYS, Axel was just as obsessed with his hair as Xemnas was with his makeup. They're both quite strange… But, they're hot, too, so it's okay!

Before long, it was time to enter the arena for… TASK NUMBER TWO!

**TASK NUMBER TWO: KARAOKE.**

"OMGYAY!" Axel clapped and jumped up and down in delight. He absolutely LOVED karaoke! He lived, breathed, and uh… ate it. But that's another story, ne?

Xemnas was horrified, even though he'd known about this the entire TIME since he was the one to write it down. And Axel thought of it. So, they both knew about it but are still overreacting. Yeah. I guess that's what happens when you hit your head too many times. And the chemicals in that hair gel can't be healthy.

"I HEARD THAT." -- Seymour Guado 6:07am July 31st, 2006.

Ahem.

However, since Axel had gone first the last time, Xemnas had to go first this time. And he hadn't a clue what he would be singing.

Just then, a bouncy young fangirl approached the stage and stepped up to the microphone. She had blonde hair, green eyes, and a stupid look on her face. She seemed like an airhead.

"LIKEOKAY. Today's task for the Quest for, like, the WoWa of Castle Oblivion is Karaoke!" Okay. Yeah. We know that. MOVE ON ALREADY.

The young fangirl gave a giggle and a clap, and cleared her throat. "Now, first off we have Xemnas who will be singing… 'MOTO' by the fabulous BoA!" she announced with yet another annoying giggle and clap.

Xemnas was freaking out. Axel chuckled with such confidence, as he knew Xemnas didn't know the song, and did not hesitate to point that out.

"Isn't that song in _Korean_?" Axel asked, having full knowledge of the fact that MOTO was, indeed, in Korean.

Xemnas' eyes bulged out of his silver-haired-empty-head. "XEMNAS NO KNOW KOREAN!" he cried with fear crackling through his already girly voice.

But, he had to sing it. That was the whole point. Xemnas' bottom lip then began to quiver as his eyes widened and watered as if he'd just teleported straight out of an anime. But, there was not one who would bestow upon him their pity, for he still had to sing it.

Oh. My. God.

Xemnas stepped up to the microphone, seeing all the fangirls watching him with such delight in their eyes. They all anticipated the melody that would soon flow from the speakers and into their ears. Either because they loved Xemnas, or they wanted to laugh. Really. Really. Hard.

The upbeat music then blasted out of the speakers. Xemnas pissed himself then. He had only heard this song once, and he didn't know Korean, any aspect of it whatsoever. And this song was fast, which made it all the more frightening.

He was now supposed to sing, the words came up on the huge screen that mysteriously appeared above the crowd of fangirls overnight. He still had no idea what the hell to do.

"Bowl sauce… meow chow boring o ya?" He opened his mouth and nothing but nonsense came out. Though, did anyone _really_ expect anything besides absolute nonsense? I should hope not, if you've been paying attention!

Xemnas continued to sing poorly. His voice cracked, he crapped his pants twice, and he eventually broke down.

"SOMETHING SOMETHING CRAZY MOVE SOMETHING SOMETHING… I DON'T KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!" with that, he ran off stage in absolute horror.

He ended up getting an 8 out of 10, but it didn't count. You see, the fangirls gave him an 8 because he was their entertainment. Not because of his _REAL_ performance. His performance rated a 4, which is what he ended up getting.

Axel cheered silently, expecting this to be an easy win. He was good at singing karaoke. Or so he thought.

The same bouncy, blonde, green-eyed airhead stepped up to the microphone. "Like, okay! It's now Axel's turn to sing for us!" she gave another annoying clap that made a lot of the fangirls in the audience want to rip off her arms and beat her over the head with them. Fangirls can be very hostile.

Axel waved to the crowd in an adoring way, gaining the attention of every fangirl in the audience. They swooned and sighed dreamily. Axel was certainly a hot bishie.

"And the song he will be singing," the bouncy airhead said, "is… Want Me, Want Me by Namie Amuro!"

What. The. Hell.

Axel knew this song like the back of his gloved hand! However… he couldn't imagine singing such a song in front of a whole arena full of girls that could be offended by the perversion this song possessed.

With applause, he stepped up the microphone. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. And then he opened his eyes to find…

He had to use the bathroom.

…And he had stage fright.

WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO!

This had never happened before! Then again, he'd never actually had to do this in front of a lot of people before…

DA DA DA DA DA DA, DA DA DA DA DA DA, DA DA DA DA DA DA.

He gulped as the music started. His eyes widened, his brain froze. He instantly became one of the stupidest human beings in existence. Or non-existence. Er. Wait, no… Oh, never mind!

_'AH HUH WANT ME NOW. SO. DO. I WANT YOU NOW. LET'S GO.'_

That's what he was supposed to say. But, he did not. Instead of singing the proper lyrics, he sang something a bit different.

"UH-UH HUH WANT Y-YOU N-N-NOW. S-SO D-DO-DO I WANT ME N-NOW. L-LETTUCE AND TOMATOES! UH…"

He didn't stand Xemnas' chance in a male prison at this rate. Which was very bad, as Xemnas wouldn't last two seconds in a male prison. What with all his makeup and frilly nighties and--wait. You didn't hear that.

Eventually, the song was over. He managed not to crap or piss himself, which was quite an accomplishment. Now, if Xemnas had succeeded in such a task, now _that_ would mark the coming of the apocalypse, it would.

…ANYWAYS. Axel scored a 6 out of 10, easily beating out Xemnas' 4 out of 10. Axel would've been happier had he not pissed himself. Right there. On the stage. In front. Of everyone.

Before he could receive any applause from the audience, he ran off stage in embarrassment. Screaming something about needing Xemnas' special ointment… or… something like that. Yeah.

**CURRENT SCORES**

**Axel:** 1

**Xemnas**: 1

They are tied! YAY FOR TIES! Okay, not really. Three tasks still remain to determine who will win… THE QUEST FOR THE WOWA!


	4. The Third Task

A/N: I am so sorry for neglecting this for so long! I've been busy and forgetful and the inspiration just kind of disappeared. But alas, I am back, and I've got many new ideas! I re-read the first three chapters and I can honestly say that my mind had to have absolutely disappeared when I wrote them, haha. I hope that comes back for the rest of this, because I laughed so hard whilst reading the first chapters, ha. So yeah. I'm determined to finish this and to make it even more funny as I go on. I hope you all enjoy it, if you haven't given up on it yet!

**DISCLAIMER: KH and KHII belong to Square. WoWa belongs to Namie. And the other stuff that doesn't belong to me belongs to whoever made them. Other wise, this world would be a really messed up place, man. Meeeeeeeeeeeeessssed uupppp.**

_**Quest for the WoWa**_

A KH/KHII Crackfic

Chapter Four: The Third Task

Axel and Xemnas spent the rest of the day in their rooms, too embarrassed to come out. Xemnas whimpered and cried and overreacted as usual, and Axel sort of just stared… into space… at the wall… at--

"OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG!!!!!!! IT'S A SPIDER IT'S A SPIDER IT'S A SPIDER IT'S A SPI--" Just then, Axel was knocked down by a watermelon. YES, you heard it right, a _watermelon._

"YES! SCORE!!" a spiky-haired-water-loving-low-IQ-surfer-dude-who's-afraid-of-Xemnas shouted, just before running away in fear of Axel and his fiery temper. Even though his element was water, which could take out fire. Demyx was purely just an idiot with the lowest IQ in the history of the world.

Axel got up off the ground, dazed and confused--BEEEEEEN DAAAAAAAAZED AND CONFUUUUUUUSED FOR SO LOOONG IT'S NOT TRUUUUUUE--Er… uh… Led Zeppelin. Yeah. Where was I? Oh, yeah.

Axel got up off the ground, dazed and confused……. and covered in watermelon.

"Mmm… Axel like watermelon! YUMMY IN THE TUMMY, AWOOOOOO!!!!!" Axel cheered with glee in such a childish way. He then ran around the room, neglecting the fact that the floor was covered in watermelon juice and his floor was already slippery enough as it was.

Once he stepped foot on the watermelon juice, he slid all across the room. Furthermore proving that the recent blow to his head did something to his brain that reverted him to child-like behavior. And that he was merely just a total moron underneath that black cloak. … …… … No, I will move on.

Anyhow, where was I? Oh, yes. Axel was now sliding across his room on the juice from the watermelon. This didn't last too long, however, as he eventually stopped. Unfortunately, he made an abrupt stop. By sliding right into the wall, smacking his face against it, and falling backwards.

Immediately, Xigbar ran into the room at the sound of the thudsmackOMGWTFGODDAMMIT.

"LYKEOMG AXEL-BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!" Xigbar ran over to Axel and picked him up and held him in his arms and stroked his soft red hair and--Wait. Never mind.

Axel opened his eyes to find that XIBAR was holding him.

Axel screamed bloody murder.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

He made his way out of Xigbar's grasp and flung out of the room and down the hall. He was headed towards the arena, but before he could make it there…

TRIP! FALL! SPLAT! DIE!

"GODDAMMIT, XEMNAS!"

Axel had tripped. On Xemnas' sequined party dress and a rubber ducky that lay out in the middle of the hall for NO. APPARENT. REASON.

Axel had flown about five feet down the hall, landing in front of Zexion's room. On his face. And to make matters worse, Zexion was talking to himself in the mirror.

"You're not JUST any ordinary Nobody! You're Sexy Zexion! Or, better yet… YOU'RE SEXION: THE SEXIEST MAN-MADE-OF-PIXELS EVER!"

Some self-esteem thing or other. Or maybe he was just gay. Either way, it was much better than the time when Axel had walked in on Saix to find him dressed in a cheerleading uniform. Not a pretty sight.

"AXEL! YOU GAYWAD! LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY DRES--SKIRT!! ER. I MEAN, ROOOOOOOBE!!" Xemnas said, _perfectly_ concealing the fact that it **was**, indeed, a sequined party dress. Silver. Big surprise there.

"AND DID I MENTION MY RUBBER DUCKY?!" Xemnas then held up a deflated, yellow figure. A ghost of what was once a cute, rubber bath toy that squeaked when you squeezed it.

Axel was speechless. Axel had traveled to the deepest depths of hell and back in under 20 minutes! And now, he was being yelled at by _Xemnas_, the girly man among all girly men. Simply because, while running away in absolute HORROR from the moment that took place with Xigbar--who he **swore** was merely a really butch straight woman in disguise--he tripped on Xemnas' belongings that he didn't know were in the damn hallway.

"THAT'S IT, XEMNAS! I'm not waiting until tomorrow! I'm goin' whoop your ASS tonight!" With that, Axel stormed down towards the arena, leaving Xemnas even more confused than a gay cross-dresser.

Xemnas stuck his bottom lip out in an overdramatic pout. "W-What do you mean you're going to whoop my… my… THAT-BAD-WORD-THAT-STARTS-WITH-AN-A-THAT-I'M-NOT-SUPPOSED-TO-SAY!" Xemnas shouted to Axel's back in a horribly gay sounding way, whilst blubbering like a complete idiot.

**TASK NUMBER THREE: DANCE-OFF**

The third task was a dance-off, to see which of them has the moves to pull off being the WoWa of Castle Oblivion. Axel was the MASTAH of dancing, he was. Xemnas, on the other hand… Well, he had about as much rhythm as a dead twig.

This was a tie-breaking task, so it was very critical. It was a face-off, and only one truth prevails. Um. No, I did NOT just quote Detective Conan!

Ahem. So anyways, Axel and Xemnas stepped up to the stage, before the wide-eyed, drooling audience of fangirls.

Axel puffed his chest out and put his hands on his hips, smiling widely at the fangirls. He was confident. He was pissed. He was… I don't really know!

Xemnas was the total opposite, however. Small wonder. Xemnas' bottom lip stuck out so far that you could probably attach five coat hangers bearing the scary, smelly, silky robes of Saix, Vexen, Xigbar, Luxord, and Zexion onto it.

Xemnas' eyes watered, his lip quivered, his hair began to friz and his lipstick began to smudge. He was an absolute wreck.

Then, the music started. Some dance compilation. Techno, yeah! Axel loved techno! Xemnas hated it, however, and thus his initial reaction was for his eyes to turn red and his voice to lower and his body to shake and him to shout "MUST KIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!" as a result to going into homicidal maniac mode.

…No, actually, Xemnas isn't that smart. He just covered his ears in absolute pain. He _despised_ techno.

Axel automatically started dancing like a maniac. HE'S A MAAAAAAANIAC, MAAAAAAAAAAAAAANIAAAC!!!! …Moving on!

He jumped, he twirled, he dropped it like it's hot--whatever in the hell that means! He was on FIRE! …Literally!

In the heat of the moment he triggered his own, natural pyrotechnics and caught his robe on fire. He was scared shitless but it didn't matter, as it just seemed to the crowd that he meant to do it. So Axel just kept going, not so much dancing as it was running in circles like a lunatic.

Xemnas started to get into it. He swung his hips side to side and flipped his hair around. He did a few twirls and ass wiggles. Xemnas was a girly man, or a manly girl. No one really knows, and this only made it more confusing.

Xemnas got so into it that he started doing backflips and cartwheels. But then, something went haywire. He did a double backflip handspring with a cartwheel round off combo then a headstand and a one-hand stand which eventually sent him flying into the ceiling. Now that takes talent.

CRASH!!

Xemnas had broken, not only the roof of Castle Oblivion, but also the sound barrier. KABOOM! Went the silvery spot in the sky that was none other than Girly Man Xemnas. Axel stopped, mid jump and stared endlessly into the deep abyss that led to the night sky which bore a single silver star we call Mansex--er, Xemnas!

The crowd went utterly wild, and thus Xemnas won the dance-off. Even though he did nothing but make an ass of himself, yet again, the whole silver-star-in-the-sky-through-the-giant-hole-in-the-ceiling thing kinda topped Axel catching himself on fire. Go figure, eh?

**CURRENT SCORES  
**

**Axel:** 1

**Xemnas**: 2

Xemnas is in the lead by sheer stupidity! But what awaits us in the next task? …Hell, **_I_** don't even know yet! Stay tuned, for more is yet to come in… The Quest for the WoWa!


End file.
